are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
