Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
