will power is for people who don't want to get laid
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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