It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
