Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
