you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
