can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
