I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
