operation harelip BJ is a go
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
