Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
