They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
