Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
