So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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