i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
