i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
