3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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