you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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