omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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