also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
