I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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