Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
