A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
