After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
