As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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