whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
