real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
