Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
