and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
