I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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