Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So much rum. So many feels.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
