Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
