ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So squirting runs in the family.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
