My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
