big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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