Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize