In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
