I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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