So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
