I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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