forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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