I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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