dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
