nutella sex= disaster
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
