My brain says no but my pants say off.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
