so explain again why im purple
no
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
