wakey wakey hands off snakey
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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