Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize