Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
