Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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