sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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