He is an equal opportunity slut.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I currently don't understand fingers.
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