Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
