grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Randomize
