yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
