I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
