worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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