idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
