I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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