I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
