We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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