ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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