Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize