And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
