ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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