I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
